Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Taking the Plunge!

Can Adoption be Funny?
Well, when you have a (then) four year old in your life, it sure can be! I just have to share this story with you all before I tell you what is meant by the title,

"Taking the Plunge".

 When we were in the middle of the 'waiting' stage for our second Adoption, we began to slowly, cautiously prepare our first Rascal for the prospect of a new sibling. You see, when you Adopt, you have absolutely no idea of timeframe and we didn't want him to think it was going to happen soon, but we also didn't want to spring it on him. "Surprise! You had no idea this was coming but here is your new Sister!"
We had brief conversations about it and one of them went just like this...
Rascal 1 and Mommy in the car together.

Mommy: "So buddy, you remember how we talked about the fact that we adopted you and how special that makes you?"

Rascal 1: "Uh-huh...look at that bus over there mommy!"

Mommy: "And you know that you grew in your birthmother's tummy and that God told her that she was to give you to us so that we could be your mommy and daddy forever and ever!"

Rascal 1: "Yeah, I know I'm special mommy, blah, blah, blah. Can we go to McDonald's today?"

Mommy: "No, not today buddy. Well, did you know that mommy and daddy are praying that we will get to adopt another baby and that this will make you a Big Brother?"

Rascal 1: "I'm going to be a big brudder?"

Mommy: "That's right! How cool is that going to be! Did you also know that this baby will grow in her birthmother's tummy too? But she will have a different birthmother than you have. And, we will adopt her too and be her forever family!"

Rascal 1: silence....

Mommy: "So, what do you think about all of this buddy? Do you think that sounds like a good idea?"

Rascal 1: "Nah...I just think we should get the baby at COSTCO!"

Mommy: Trying to suppress hysterical laughter while keeping the car on the road..."That would be handy, huh buddy?"
I'm picturing a couple walking through the Megastore with rows and rows of babies amidst the vats of mayonnaise and batteries!
"I'd like that one right there! The one with the big brown eyes!"
If only it were that easy...

We were at a wedding recently and to describe it in all it's glory would really need an entire separate post. Picture rows of folding chairs outside in a front yard right next to pup-tents and campers with 6 large dogs running around, guests sitting down with cans of Miller in their hands and 'cigs' behind their ears, the bride dancing up the aisle and then when pronounced husband and wife, racing back down the "aisle" to grab her fiddle! At one point my husband said, "Isn't that the guy who married them?" I turned to see that the officiant (loose term) had changed from his suit into cut-off camo shorts and boots with his long mane of hair set free from its pony-tail. Oh, and a 'cig' tucked behind his ear! I'm not making this up and couldn't even if I tried!

But, at this most sacred and reverent of occasions, we sat with some great couples and eventually began talking about all of our kiddos. One couple had also adopted their son and they began to ask about our story and also to pick our brains for tips for talking to your kids about their adoptions (their son is much younger than ours). After we shared some of our journey with them, the wife said "You know, you really should be writing all of this down!"
So, I'm taking her advice and TAKING THE PLUNGE!

This is not just a story about Infertility and Adoption. This is a story about Faith.

For better or for worse, this is the first installment of our
Labor of the Heart!

Labor. What do you think of when you hear this word? If you are like me, my mind immediately conjures up images of a Hospital Delivery Room. A woman straining to bring new life into the world. A husband coaching, cheering, encouraging and hopefully not passing out! But for me, labor has another meaning. One definition states that it is “to suffer from distress or a disadvantage.” Still another says that it is “to strive painstakingly or to proceed with great effort.” Now those are definitions I can relate to!
Ours may not have been a physical labor,
but it was still a labor of the heart.
When it all began we were footloose and fancy free! That is what being a newlywed is all about right? We were deeply in love, had great jobs, disposable income (those were the days!), and had just bought our first home. A town-home that had previously been a rental and we lovingly began to bring back to life. What more could you ask for right? And yet, it was always there. That nagging feeling that we could never quite shake. We never totally felt that unabashed hope for the future that newlyweds should feel. A future that seems uncomplicated and perfect with all of the pieces of the puzzle falling into place. Travel, buy a real house, white picket fence and all, and have a baby...right? Isn't that the way it is supposed to go? "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage." Sweet, simplistic and uncomplicated. And totally unrealistic! Where did this little poem come from anyway? And, why do we grow up thinking that our lives are going to be just that easy?

To be continued...

I'm linking up with Tuesdays Unwrapped


Erin @ EKat's Kitchen said...

Lovely post, Vanessa. Thanks for sharing your story -- and I can completely picture the whole discussion with your son!


Cathy~Mille Fleur said...

God works in such mysterious ways! I have been thinking all day of our best friends in California. They were never able to have kids and decided against adopting. I have always thought that was such an odd decision! I have always LOVED being a mom and would have done anything to make that happen! Adoption has always seemed like a perfect solution to me and yet they would not hear of it! I feel as you do that the child you adopt is a gift from God...part of his plan. They never could accept that as true. I think about them and the decision they made often. I know they feel like they missed out on something...so sad...they would have made the best parents!

In reading your post today I am reminded of the joy they missed out on...I am so happy that you made the decision to adopt...being a mom is the greatest experience in life...I am sure you would agree!

Thanks so much for sharing this! I can't wait to read more...It has really blessed my day!

God bless you and your precious family!

Angela said...

Love this post!

Kelli said...

What a great post. I can't wait for more!! I just became a follower of your blog and I think its great, if you have a moment I'd love for you to take a look at mine.


Anonymous said...

As the mother of two Clomid babies, I understand. We always tell our third daughter that she was our prize since she came all on her own. :)

As the great aunt of two incredible adopted children, a gift from God to my nephew, a pastor and his wife, I understand. They are in the process of adopting a girl from China but it's going to take years of paperwork.

Kids and the things they say are just priceless!!

Lori said...

This touched my heart just at the moment I needed it.

Heather said...

I love you....

your sister

NanaDiana said...

What a wonderful and heartfelt post. I love the interaction with Rascal #1...

Please, please, please do a post about the wedding...pictures too if you have them. I could really use a good laugh;>)

I will be anxious to read more of your story~ Hugs- Diana

Lori said...

I'm at 99 followers too, I bet you beat me!

Traci said...

What a great post! I look forward to hearing the rest of they story.

I think you REALLY need to do a post about the wedding!

Kristin @ My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia said...

I love this!!!! I couldn't stop reading :) I can't wait to hear the rest :) Please let me know when you finish your door!

Debbie said...

What an awesome story Vanessa. A good friend of mine has three adopted children. She has two boys from COlumbia, who are gorgeous and ever so kind, and an american little Irish girl. What a great family indeed. Your little man will be the best big bro there is. I can't wait to hear more of your touching a Mother's love story.

Courtney ~ French Country Cottage said...

I love this post Vanessa! It is so touching and your little guy looks like such a charmer! Can't wait to read more! :)

Jennifer said...

What a beautiful post! Yes! Kids say the darnest things!

jessica said...

Love your blog Vanessa! Your home is wonderful and it is great to hear about your journey.


Anita said...

What a wonderful and personal story to share!! It takes special people to bring children into your hearts and home. That is truly a blessing! We are going to our local Baptist Children's Home Saturday to give our testimony and do some songs from our upcoming CD, and I cannot wait to be with them. This group comes to our church and they are such a blessing to us. Children are so incredible, and they all deserve loving homes like yours obviously is:-)

Sherry @ No Minimalist Here said...

Vanessa, The conversation with your son about adoption was so cute and your description of the wedding gave me a good laugh. I would love to see pictures.

This is such a wonderful post and I am looking forward to hearing more.
xoxo, Sherry

Sonya@Beyond the Screen Door said...

Thank you for sharing your story! My, it sounds like there were some characters at that wedding!
For a while I wrote journals of all the cute and funny things my kids said...your car conversation needs to be in such a book! LOL
I look forward to hearing more of your family's story.

Sailing Simply said...

Oh Vanessa, this is going to be a beautiful story I can tell. I'm already looking forward to hearing more. You have a wonderful way with words and I am so glad you have decided to share this with us. This is really the good stuff.
Now for that wedding...LOL! Reminds me of a few weddings we have been to that were certainly unexpected adventures.

Debbie said...

First, you made me do the laugh out loud with the Costco comment.

And then, you hooked me and reeled me in with the beginning of the adoption story. I am truly looking forward to reading more of it. I have several friends who endured the very long labor of becoming adoptive parents.

I'm so glad you "took the plunge" and decided to share your story!!

michelle said...

What a great post!!! I love kids and the conversations that they have, too cute!!

What a great way for your children to know you when they are able to read this. Documenting all your feelings, accomplishments and failures will teach them a lot about you, your family and God and His grace.

I look forward to the next entry.

Val said...

Vanessa, My heart is so full from reading this. I want to hug you! I'm so happy for you. This is one of the best posts of all time.

Maria@BubblegumandDuctTape said...

what a great post Vanessa. You're right, it's important that you don't "surprise" him with a sibling. What a blessed child to have you as his mother. I don't know where this "get married=have children" thing comes from, but it made me feel very uncomfortable when I first got married too. I really felt the pressure from both sides of the family.

Christy said...

You are amazing and I'm so glad that I can call you my friend!!

-Kasey said...

I have all kinds of LOLs going on over here about the Costco comment. That is just the cutest thing!

Overall this post was fantastic and can I just take a moment to say how awesome you are for providing such a loving home! :)

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Beautiful post...and what a GREAT picture...also love your master bedroom ...Great blog

Bonnie@Creative Decorating said...

What a great inspirational story! I have gone through labor but I would definitely be willing to pick them up at Costco!! How cute!

Good idea to write it down because I know some couples waited until their child was a teenager to tell him. Not a good thing. It is hard but I would think if you start them young, it is more natural to them. Another friend always gave their son two celebrations each year. One was their birthday and the other was their adoption day. I thought that was great.

You asked about my sofa table/dresser. I did that myself and you can read it here if you want!

Bella Michelle said...

I swear our little angels actually are here to teach us a thing or two (well, maybe not about Costco...) but otherwise!

BTw, I popped over from Southern Comfort in a Northern Life and wanted to say Hi!

Beth said...

Thank you SO MUCH, Vanessa, for opening up your heart, your home, and your life with us. As you know, your story resonates so much with me. I love hearing your conversation with your son. I can't wait to read more...you are an incredible writer! Lots of love, Beth

Beth said...
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